Facebook keeps advertising me an Akashic Records course
Look… your human life is not significant enough for going into the Akashic Records and finding anything meaningful about it. You might as well look for meaningful records on the house fly you just swatted, or some random beetle on the ground.
The universe has existed for billions of years — and your life time is about a significant as a single grain of sand on the infinite beaches in time and space.
If you are going into there, and dealing with humanoid librarians with the standard human limb configuration who speak your dialect of English particularly well, can easily find records that you are able to easily comprehend without having to go over it several times — you are not in the actual Akashic Records… you are in a glamour based lie to make yourself feel more important than you actually are.
Gosh darn “newly awakening women” and “my spirituality is important to the universe”… shut the fuck up Karen — you could be hit by a bus and the powers that be will not even notice for several years — if they notice.
It is all feel good ass bullshit — and guess what? That is okay. I shouldn’t have to justify not feeling like shit for a few moments. I shouldn’t have to justify being all, “wow, I feel important and wanted and desired” by being all, “this will help me focus myself in my life, and improve my relations with others”
No fucking duh, not feeling like fucking ass, unvalued and unwanted will fuck up your ability to interact with people. I mean, unless you put on a bunch of emo ass shit and talk to other people with that stuff on. Then you’d prolly have to go to a nightclub, wait outside the entire night, then sulk in some booth at a coffee shop, while the waitress gets annoyed that you are only ordering water and maybe one of the cheapest items on the menu.
You do better, when you feel like you are being listened to, and that you are valued and stuff. You should not have to go out of your way to justify it as a spiritual move or a career move.
There should just be a course — and hell, go ahead, charge money for it — that is all, “make a place that makes you feel good and important, so you can go through the rest of day with a bit of charge and energy — and feel like you’ve got a reason to do shit in life”.
And hell, be fucking honest about glamouring yourself. It is the more responsible way to handle that shit.
But no — we gotta have a bunch of Karens talking about how they’ve achieved enlightenment, and what they’ve gotten for enlightenment is about how they are really important and valued — and that is how the universe views them.
Look… you can be replaced. Anything you do, will not be known or remembered in ten years time… maybe fifty tops — and even then, it will be remembered completely incorrectly, and if you are unlucky, you will have a mythological version of you that people talk about and completely forget what actually happened. Like… a cartoonish SNL parody version of you, that even SNL was all, “yeah… that… isn’t really a good impersonation” — except it isn’t SNL… it is a parody of SNL that part of the joke is how poor the impersonations are — and that parody is complaining.
If you were to actually go to the Akashic Records — first off, it is not organised in the Dewey Decimal System. It is organised in a way the… I want to say Beetle? Librarians can follow and figure stuff out. No.. Beetle isn’t correct — there limbs are all wrong for that… also their eye count has me thinking they are more angels — but the total lack of fire, faces and feet make me think they are not angels.
Yes, there are spells to translate what is being said — but I think Google Translate actually does a better job for translating… minus the issues with dialect, time period based terms — and all the other fun linguistic drift concepts that apply to the entire universe of space and time — and the universes that never will exist.
Oh… and for time — yeah, time isn’t linear. In fact, the library doesn’t exist in linear time… or even three dimensional space. MC Escher would have an aneurysm at this place. So you are going to get a bunch of information for stuff that did not happen, will not ever happen, has already happened not yet — and a bunch of other fun stuff that usually is a fairly pointless waste of space in your head.
The Akashic Records is a great place to go, to feel like shit.
But gosh darn it… you should be allowed to do something to feel good… and not have it have to be some kind of important personal growth. Because it really isn’t… it is just self maintence.
Fucking Karens, I’m surrounded by them.