Wait… Big Bird is Neurotypical?

This is in response to a video by Iilluminaughtii regard Sesame Street and Autism Representation.

CW: This article goes in some patently odd directions, put on your seatbelts it is a coaster of my brain — and I’m very sorry for that

Did you just assume Big Bird’s Gender?

Great video, that gets it all good, except for one bit.

Wait? Big Bird is Neurotypical?

I have made jokes — well horrible comments that might spread further stigmatize that I still giggle about. I’m awful — but those jokes are not that good if they make people feel unwelcome. So I should prolly shut my mouth about them. Punching down is bad — but it feels awesome when you feel like you have no power. Which is kind of messed up, and not okay.

They are mostly about how Big Bird is an undiagnosed adult with Autism. Though turns out Big Bird is eternally a six year old. I found that out when I looked up Big Bird’s gender. Which kind of comes across as mocking six year olds now.

However, don’t let Shadman know that Big Bird, canonically, is a Shota.

Though, that doesn’t make that Big Bird lives in a shack in the back ally even better. It is no secret that Big Bird is one of the two homeless characters on Sesame Street.

Photo of Hooverville, to compare to where Big Bird lives on Sesame Street

Now, if you didn’t have any mental health issues before living in a back alley on the mean street of Sesame… well, you’ll prolly do okay on Sesame Street — most other places though, you will _develop_ a mental health disorder from being on the streets. Though many will assume that disorder is why you are there, and you’ll even start to believe it as well.

As a kid I noticed that Big Bird pretty much lived in a shack in the back alley. My head mixed in two seperate possibilities. One, since Big Bird was a bird, it was just her nest.

Uh… as a child I would have used she/her pronouns for Big Bird. I tended to get corrected a lot about it. I’ve adopted the headcanon that Big Bird is an enby — but has yet to learn the term for enby. If you don’t know what that is like, try to flag down an enby, it won’t be easy as they’ll be avoided you due to you trying to flag them down for what is completely a dumb question to ask them. A solid amount of them will have an experience of being it, even before they knew they was a word for it — you might just have to take my word for it… as a lot of them can kind of sense when a dumb question is approaching, and most of them definitely do have better things than to respond to that sort of nonsense.

The other possibility, I held as a child, was that this was one of those adult things that I would understand once I became an adult… and that I should just roll along with for now. Smile and nod — and only say I understand, if saying otherwise will just have them repeat the exact same long lecture again that clarifies nothing.

This seems weird for a child to do… but I’ve also found out that the games I played on the adults when I was small have a name. They are called “MK Ultra Experiments”… I was a horrible horrible rotten child. This is why I cannot really talk crap about kids these days. Compared to me, they are pretty cool.

Big Bird the Crazy Bag Lady

When describing Big Bird, I’d be inclined to compare _him_ to a Woodstock type hippie. If I was inclined to be less favourable I’d compare Big Bird to Zoey Deschanel.

Big Bird from the Sesame Street AU where the Muppets are Humans, and Humans are Muppets

I’d also maybe compare Big Bird to the Crazy Cat Lady from Simpsons. Or the Old Lady from that weird emo movie with the Bunny monster — oh right Donnie Darko. Weird how I cannot remember that movie’s name without first saying “weird emo movie with the Bunny Monster” prior to the name.

I’m also a fandom of the Canada unfiction ARG. Now some are adamant that Canada is real — however, being part of the Canada fandom, I can attest some of the events of Canada stretch suspension of disbelief. I mean, a fair amount of Canadian History, Politics and events are just a bit too far flung for me to argue that Canada is a real world place. As oppose to the much more rational and logical explanation that Canada is just a really really elaborate unfiction ARG. It joins other elaborate unfiction ARGs like 2020 and Florida.

The Canada unfiction ARG has a show within it, called “Kids in the Hall” — look at me flexing my deep Canada Fandom Lore here. On that show, that nobody has ever watched, there is a character known as The Bird Lady. I’ve made more than enough head canon connections between The Bird Lady and Big Bird than anybody possessing a healthy mind could ever make.

Clip from the Canadian Run of Sesame Street, “Sesame Double Double”

Now, some people might claim that they have watched the show, Kids in the Hall, and can attest that there is some stark behavioural differences between the Bird Lady and Big Bird. However, you can know these claims are complete hog wash, as this would involve people having actually watched Kids in the Hall. Which we all know, has never had any documented instance of having occurred. Good show, I’ve heard — shame it has never been seen by human eyes. It is like a good twin to the Necronomicon. Like… if the Necronomicon was incredibly Canadian.

Right, everybody done rolling for SAN damage from me discussion Canada Unfiction ARG Lore?

My head canon has been that Big Bird is a Bag Lady for a while — and I’ve moved it into that Big Bird is a Crazy Bag Enby who has not learned about the concept of enbies yet.

Though, knowing now he is just a really really big boy… and even though he has been around for roughly sixty years, he is only six years old… I’m going to stick with these head canons. This is to keep Shadman from learning the truth about Big Bird. Shadman must never know.

If I continue to spread these… it shall keep it hidden from him, who must never ever do fan art of this show.

Big Bird as Oscar’s Foil

Now, discussing further head canons I’ve developed from my inability to view Big Bird as a Neurotypical. That is Oscar being another Homeless Character, who works as a foil to Big Bird’s hippie ideals.

I mean Literary Foil… though I do understand how this might have been ambigious

You see, Oscar wasn’t drafted. He was ready to do his civil duty for his nation. He willing joined the war effort to stop the Viet Cong. He didn’t want China to expand beyond its borders. Because first it was Viet Cong, then next thing Ohio would be speaking Mandarin.

Oscar sometimes finds himself back at ‘Nam, in a fox hole surrounded by Charlie on all sides. It has been happening for decades now, and he just feels numb now. Being all, “okay brain, just do your thing already”

We must stop the Chinese from improving Ohio. I mean, they cannot make it worse, and the notion of an improved Ohio is one of the most unAmerican things ever. Right up there with cricket, police not killing black people and the French. Might as well start putting up statues of Stalin ordering french speaking police officers to not kill black people playing Cricket… and dammit, still stuck in Poe’s Law. Darn you Poe’s Law. Why can I not escape you Poe’s Law? WHY?!?!?!

Now, you might be thinking that Oscar first aired in 1969 — but the Vietnam War didn’t end until 1975. Well, good of you to know these dates better than me, I looked them up for the article to see how out of whack with reality my head canon stands to be.

Unfortunately, it is a head canon, as a result I can justify it with the most flimsy logic. This being that the talks to end the Vietnam War began in 1969. Mixed with Jim Henson being more Left Leaning — well, at least by today’s standards — allows my mind to justify Oscar as being the show subtly arguing that the Vietnam War was freaking stupid. I ain’t justifying it with fancier language — it doesn’t deserve it.

Oscar isn’t inclined to talk about what happened — he doesn’t feel like it is appropriate for the current company he keeps. Any time his past needs to be talked about, he just uses euphemistic language for a world that has became Grouch Land. He doesn’t want to burden the others with the war that still goes on inside his head.

Oscar knows the rest of Sesame Street is not ready to know the truth of what Grouch Land actually stands to be. He tackles the ongoing battle in his head alone.

He has issues integrating into society, or interacting with others. Between being betrayed by his country in a form of reverse traitor actions where the government turned on him… and the PTSD… he has to adjust to a lot of stuff. He holds onto a lot of anti-authoritary tendencies due to this. Though, it tends to come across as him just being contrary, as he still hasn’t sorted out everything that happened to him. Will he ever? He has come to a sort of chaotic peace with the notion that he might not ever come to sort any of it out.

As a child, I didn’t really know about PTSD — I just had issues accepting the explanation that some people are born evil. I did hold it as something I might understand as an adult… but as a child, the notion that some people are just born evil monsters.

Now, the standard canon of Oscar is a somewhat Xenophobic approach to some cultures being evil and inherently wrong. Which, sure, could have him put as one of the less awful depictions of First Nations people in media. I mean… there have been worse.

When I say that Oscar wouldn’t be the worst depiction of First Nations people with the Xenophobic interpretation of his character — I wish I was lying

As a child, I had issues following the Xenophobic interpretation of Oscar’s character that had him Always Chaotically Evil because he comes from an irredeamable culture that has him biologically evil. Even as an adult, I understand it is rather common in media.

At the best light it puts him on par with Dinobot from Transformers or Vegeta from Dragon Ball Z. In fact, you could easily see him screaming Kakarot in the middle of a field somewhere no problem.

My head is unable to be anything other than at odds with the From An Evil Culture and Biologically Evil understanding of Oscar — which appears to be the actual canon.

I mean, I know that First Nations people are not all inherently evil wild animals that merely look human. Despite the large amount of media depictions that would try to claim otherwise.

So… my head tells me that Oscar is actually a Vietnam Veteran, no longer able to trust anymore — burned out and burned up. Not able to cope and tossed aside by a government that no longer has a use for him.

The Vietnam Veteran interpretation is a much nicer and friendlier one. … yeah…

I ship Bert and Ernie, my Opinion is Invalid

Now, all of this, “argument” and “debate” mostly comes from wild and crazy head canons that I’ve developed. One day, Science will be able to figure out the full list of everything wrong with me. I intend to help Science in these merits by documenting this stuff. As I do secretly fear, that Science might take quite some time to figure this stuff out.

Honestly is the worst policy ever, and people will only ever complain if you do it. Well, for me, anyways. Presumably if you aren’t kind of messed up, honesty is prolly okay and better.

That being said, for decades I’ve viewed Bert and Ernie as a very homosexual agenda friendly couple. Who depict gay married men as nonthreatening and generally just like other humans. Well, in this case, other muppets.

Turns out… the canon is that Bert and Ernie are just really good friends. Which totally has never been a really really gay meme or anything. Why would you think that? Hah… ridiculous.

So, while I recognise my weird response to this video is based mostly in my own hellish mindscape… I’m just shocked that people look at Big Bird and see somebody who is neurotypical. When it is a six year old boy bird who lives in a shanty in a back alley.

Also… fully writing this out… I’ve learned that my life potential is way more than a PhD thesis of some kind — but instead an entire field of thesis and publication that are based around what the fuck is wrong with me. Like… wow. I’m still publishing this — as I feel like this needs to be documented, to warn people about me… but wow… just… yeah.